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Macrae admits: ‘I lost it!’
When all the orange cards went up for the Assembly’s final vote on sexuality yesterday, says task group chairperson Rev Alistair Macrae, "I lost it."
Anger or relief? Neither. "My first fear was that we’d gone backwards. I was just aware what this course of events might mean to a section of our church community, that gay and lesbian people might be feeling they’d been kicked in the guts."
Since then, others have reassured him. First, the church’s policy about homosexual people has been accepted at assembly level; it’s not just a standing committee minute. Second, everyone knows now that it is Uniting Church policy. Third, many people have grown in their understanding.
Mr Macrae has also done his own kind of ‘coming out’ since then: "My self-disclosure is that I’m a sinner -- nothing special, just a common garden variety sinner – and I’m constantly amazed by the grace of God which calls me to be part of the church. If that grace welcomes me, then anybody is welcome. That needs to be said.
"If we’re going to isolate particular groups and qualify their acceptance, that makes me feel nervous about my own standing," he said. "A lot of this debate has been about our understanding of grace."
There have been some other changes in understandings. A key one has been about the views of the Aboriginal and migrant-ethnic communities.
The task group on sexuality hadn’t had the resources, time or knowledge to engage these communities, said Mr Macrae. "We were just 12 people with full time jobs and no budget to speak of."
Offers of consultation were made, particularly to the Uniting Aboriginal and Islander Christian Congress, but the task group received no response "for reasons which are now much clearer to me", he said.
"But it would have been better to have heard two or three years ago what we heard at this assembly. Then we would have tried to address that in a more helpful way."
So who’s to blame for what happened? "We’d take our share of the blame for that, but the terms of reference should also have specified that better."
There may have been a time problem, of course.. Those terms of reference date back to the 1991 Assembly, and the Uniting Church has gone through considerable growth in its cultural understanding over the last six years. Mr Macrae agreed it may not have been aware enough then.
This Assembly, on the other hand, has provided him with some difficulties about procedures. "There was no consultation with me," he said, and the Business Committee will soon get some correspondence about the way that sexuality has been dealt with.
"The Facilitation Group ‘owned’ all the proposals in the end. They’d done valuable work, but the issues hadn’t been with them for the last six years. We [the task group] didn’t really get to speak to anything apart from our presentation of the report."
That report has been a very big part of Alistair Macrae’s life for the last six years. Now he’ll be able to go back home and be "a less preoccupied family member". His Melbourne parish will also have "a less preoccupied parson, and they’ll probably get less sexy sermons".
But he doesn’t regret the experience. "It’s been a major privilege. I’ve now got 11 very close friends [other task group members] I didn’t have before. I’ve also grown in my understanding of grace and discipleship in the church. And, personally, it’s really helped me integrate my sexuality and my faith."
Nor would he have missed the Assembly, even though it’s been harrowing for him.
"It would have been great for the whole church to have been here. I think there have been a lot of conversions happening here for people all along the spectrum. People have actually heard each other. I’ve heard people [opposed to the report] say, ‘I’m going to have to go away and do some new thinking.’"